is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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