Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
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