Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
