apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
