That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
