Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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