I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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