my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
