i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
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Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
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