1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
