Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
