Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
whose parrot is this?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
