I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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