you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
