You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize