Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
