So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
