the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
