on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
It's just like the Real World with babies
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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