I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
