You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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