I hope mine doesn't look like that
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
