elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
