i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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