Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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