It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
