she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
