dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
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He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
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This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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