is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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