if i can run in heels then i can drive
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
