Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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