bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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