So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
