So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize