Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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