apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize