Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
