I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
