omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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