He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize