Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
