all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I bet he comes in French.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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