he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm always down for nudity.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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