these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
