she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
