My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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