these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
