is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
