my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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