i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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