can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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