its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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