At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
