I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
