I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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