Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
