So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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