you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
