JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
