She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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