oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
