at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
