Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
