i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
