I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
