We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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