It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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