i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize