I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
